Some days I wonder who the hell’s life I dropped into. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine grocery shopping with a loud child singing “YER DEAD, YER DEAD, YEE-EER-ER DEAD” to the tune of something familiar that I can’t name at the moment. Did I mention loud? You may have heard her potty mouth rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Poop? How about You Are a Stupid Penis Butt?
A torturous traipse through the store so that my family will enjoy a nice home-cooked, Weight Watchers friendly meal tonight.
Why, yes, nasty old wicked faced, evil eye lady that has obviously never had a child, I actually was trying to cover her mouth with my hand. And, yes, I did say the “S” word (shut up) … oh, come on, seriously? You all know that the “S” word has come out of your mouth before so quit “tsk-ing” at me.
I needed a red onion. A bunch of cilantro. Couscous and a lemon. I wasn’t leaving until I had those items and I’m sorry for polluting your air, Denver, but my child was safer if I at least made it to the car with those items.
I had a glimpse today. A small glimmer of understanding.
Suddenly, I could not seem to remember why I don’t believe in spanking.
Whatever the reason, I’m sure my child’s bottom is thankful at this moment.
** Turns out my Bestie from the ‘Hood @childhood had a crap-ass day too…. check out this one HERE …. this message was brought to you by a smoking loon — at least that is what the bottle said.