One of the worst things about gaining weight, for me anyway, is that you start feeling like crap in a multitude of ways.
Your clothes don’t fit and you start to think that wearing yoga pants all the time is a good idea. Then you start to just keep your hair in a ponytail everyday and ditch the daily lip gloss and mascara.
It’s a vicious cycle because even under the guise of being “comfortable” or “casual” or “sporty”, never making an effort to look cute makes you feel even less cute and then your mind starts pulling you into a cesspool of self deprecating thoughts and those thoughts just feed off one another.
Pretty soon you don’t allow anyone to take pictures of you if it includes any area below your shoulders or if you haven’t had ample time to “suck in and chin out”, and if someone actually does get a shot you make them promise not to put it on Facebook – you might actually stoop to bribing them to delete it… not that I’ve ever done that or threatened to divorce anyone. You also make sure that your Facebook settings are set so that nobody can tag you without your review, just in case. I mean, if you can’t see it on your timeline or in your photos it must not exist, right?
Why do we not want people to see what we look like? Well, because this isn’t us, we don’t look like that. The problem is that it is us. We don’t just disappear or get to press “pause” on life until we eventually get around to losing those extra pounds.
So, now that I’m about 4 days into facing the fact that I’m overweight, I figure it’s time to face the fact that just because a photo of my fat ass doesn’t appear anywhere it doesn’t mean that my ass isn’t bigger than it ever has been. Today I made a little effort and put something other than yoga pants on, applied a little powder, mascara and lip-gloss and decided to let my son take a picture of me in all my glory.
Know what? I don’t look that bad. I don’t love what I see but that is what I look like today. I look (and feel) better, lighter and happier than I have in a very long time. And that my friends is progress!
FESS UP! How are your tagging settings set on Facebook?