The Ameriprise commercial with Tommy Lee Jones where they ask “Will you outlive your money?” haunts me. I am quite certain that we have already outlived our money.
Yesterday, as I sat on the beach in Marco Island, FL admiring the sweet older couples walking the beach hand in hand, the conversation in my head went something like this:
“This would be a great place to retire to. The people are active and there’s plenty going on. I’d like to retire once the kids are all through college and out on their own. How long is that? *mental math moment* Probably about 15 years or so.”
This conversation in my head then progressed to a mostly controlled panic attack and mental conversation about how we would pay for college and still be able to retire. All things Mr B and I have discussed in detail over the past 18 plus years. Still. This is scary stuff.
Last summer I turned 41. I’m probably at least if not more than half way through my life. In my late twenties and early thirties I thought I had it all figured out but I never accounted for the shit storms life would send our way. I should say that “we” had it figured out because I am part of a team, after all. In our early thirties when we started having babies we had impressive savings, owned a home, and had a spreadsheet that planned out a comfortable life with retirement at 60.
We had plans for everything – even our 3 children fell neatly onto a timeline and spreadsheet. Somewhere along the way a failed business, economic downturn, and crazy unexpected life expenses (including our son’s emergency brain surgery followed by two more brain surgeries that were covered by insurance but tapped us financially, nonetheless) brought us to a place where that damn spreadsheet is in a major state of chaos.
Growing up is hard, yo and that stupid spreadsheet even had emergency back up plans built into it.
There is no such thing as the perfect plan.
I believe that flexibility is a gift and so rather than allow the deviation from our Perfect Life Plan to panic me I shall embrace flexibility.
This is the gift I will give myself and the theme for my forties shall henceforth be: Flexibility