So, I’ve pretty much been in HELL for the past three months.Here are a few photos of what it looks like when you put braces on someone who has a severe allergy to nickel, chromium, and gold (the photo on the left is my “normal” face):

 

Imagine waking up every morning with your eyes swollen shut. Imagine your skin burning from the inside out. For a control freak, never knowing when this thing is going to really flare up is crazy making. No amount of Zyrtec or Benadryl seemed to get it under control when it was at its worst. Creams and ointments burned my skin even more.

The day after I had the braces put on my teeth I called my dentist because I noticed my face swelling a bit. No, not possible, nobody is allergic to braces. A week later I had my most severe reaction and ran to my dermatologist. The photo on the bottom was taken in her office.

She put me on a short course of Prednisone and it helped quite a bit but I decided pretty quickly I wouldn’t be able to sustain that type of treatment and come out on the other side weighing less than 400lbs.

 

One of the worst situations was when I had a flare up during the week of 5th grade Science Camp. I had volunteered to spend the week as a cabin leader and since camp is “my thing”  I was pretty excited about it. I began to feel the fatigue set in the day before we left and in the back of my mind I think I knew what was coming on. There seemed to be a pattern. The swelling and burny/itching came shortly after the fatigue set in. This picture on the left was taken in our cabin. The girls I was in charge of were rather horrified by the reaction but we got through the week and it was quite fun.

I kept a photo journal mostly because the doctors I would see never seemed to understand how severe the flare ups were or would say things like, “well, it isn’t possible that you could be allergic to something where the reaction would stop at your neckline. “.

Most days my face and neck were just itchy and burny and the swelling seemed to bekept at bay by continuous doses of Zyrtec in the morning and Benadryl at night. When things flared up I would double up on Bendadryl and just stay in bed sleeping my life away. It was terribly depressing.

After about a month’s time I was desperate and started looking at non-traditional alternatives. 

Acupuncture, Chiropractic and NAET treatments. This is definitely a topic for a future post. On this crazy journey I stumbled on NAET, Nambudripad’s Allergy Eliminations Technique, an interesting and controversial method for allergy elimination or as my practitioner called it, “desensitizing”.  I won’t go into detail in this post but if you are at all interested you can Google Namudripad’s Allergy Elimination Technique and you’ll find plenty of info. Our family jokes about my “Voodoo” doctor but, while I wasn’t cured, there were some very real benefits from the treatments I did receive. In all, I did a month of acupuncture, NAET and chiro treatments. I started out very skeptical but after seeing the x-rays of my spine and jaw I jumped in and even although my allergy issues were not fully resolved I can say that some of the jaw issues that sent me to braces in the first place have now been resolved. bang. A lot of good things have come out of this painful journey.

Lyme, Lupus, Autoimmune diseases. These are all words that were tossed around by different doctors. Terrifying – I’ll leave it at that.

Patch Testing – Ironically, it was my dermatologist who finally said “enough” and ordered Patch Testing. This was not a fun thing at all. I also had to wait through three weeks of holidays because you have to get the patches on a Monday, checked on a Wednesday and then a final reading on a Friday. So I sucked it up through the holidays and then went off antihistamines one week beforehand and for the week of testing. This was traumatic and terribly uncomfortable but within 48 hours of the patch testing it was pretty clear what I was reacting most severely to. Nickel, Gold and Chromium.  HELLO BRACES.

My dentist was pretty surprised. I was not. Several times throughout the past three months I have pointed at the braces and I regret not having been more forceful in my original conviction. Live and learn.

Today I had all of the metal removed from my mouth. I will begin a low nickel diet and will eliminate chromium going forward. I’ll stay away from cheap costume jewelry and Gold… hello Platinum. I hope to feel better soon and with any luck, knowing what I’m allergic to will allow me to become healthier than I have been in years. That would be nice.

I wish I had blogged the entire thing because it’s been a ride.  I’ve learned a lot about allergies, the food we put in our bodies, and what it’s like to have people think you are a crazy fucking hypochondriacal lunatic.

2013 review lists, best of lists, top lists… I’m over it.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and I have zero resolutions for 2014. I’m 41 and I’ve made a lot of resolutions over the years but I’m not sure they’ve ever gotten me anywhere significant.

This year I’m just going to get on with it. I’m going to keep living a good life and taking good care of myself and my family. There you have it.

Tonight I attended the final dress rehearsal for LA Opera’s presentation of Phillip Glass and Robert Wilson’s (choreographed by Lucinda Childs who really deserves a larger font size on the program) Einstein on the Beach. I honestly never thought in my life that I’d have the opportunity to see this work live and to be honest, I also never thought I’d sit engaged for 4.5 hours of Phillip Glass without losing my mind. There’s a longer blog post in my head but the short of it is that I finally get why this piece gets so much play time in our undergraduate music history classes. That last statement deserves a blog post of its own so I’ll indulge myself with that later. Instead, I give you a fascinating conversation that took place between my engineer head husband and myself about five minutes after I arrived home tonight:

J: So, was it everything you thought it would be?

Me: Not sure what I thought it would be but I think so.

J: What was it again?

Me: Einstein on the Beach.

J: What is it about?

Me: Einstein

J: Right, but what’s the story?

Me: Well, it’s not that kind of piece.

J: But it’s an opera about Einstein, right?

Me: Well, yes, but it’s not really about anything specific.

J: So, it’s not about Einstein?

Me: Yes, it is about Einstein. Or well, not really but yes.

J: So, what’s the plot?

Me: There is no plot.

J: How can there be no plot?

Me: There just isn’t.

J: So, is it just music?

Me: Gosh no!

J: Well, what is it then?

Me: What is what?

J: The opera, what is it about?

Me: Einstein.

 

 

This weekend LA Opera presents “Einstein on the Beach”. This is the final North American stop of the international tour. I’ll be attending (and live tweeting #EOTB2013) the working dress rehearsal of the production on Thursday evening beginning at 6pm.  Angelenos have been treated to an extraordinary amount of PR surrounding the Los Angeles performances so I’ve had Phillip Glass on my mind for weeks now. In anticipation of Thursday night’s adventure I have been reflecting on my past experience with the music of Phillip Glass….

I was first introduced to the music of Phillip Glass in 1988. I was a junior in high school in my first year at Interlochen Arts Academy (IAA) boarding school and I am sure I thought I was a very worldly and serious musician. Serious? Yes. Worldly? Uh, probably not. I’d had very little exposure to contemporary or “new” music, unless you count the ditties my Suzuki violin teacher made up to help us learn difficult passages in the repertoire. I still remember the first time I heard Glass’s music. I sat on the floor in a friends room at IAA and had no idea what the hell I was listening to. I looked at the CD cover and I don’t recall what it was but remember thinking that the cover art looked as odd as the repetitive sounds I was hearing. I’d never taken drugs but I imagined that what I was hearing and feeling was probably just what it would be like to be tripping or high on drugs. It seemed like “trippy” music to me. It wasn’t an annoying gross Grateful Dead trippy, it was a better sounding more organized yet slightly uncomfortable trippy. My friends were totally into it so I decided that it was awesome and that I liked Phillip Glass’s music.

You might say that I was peer pressured into a love affair with the music of Phillip Glass.

I had a fairly impressive collection of classical music cd’s as a teenager and I recall dragging my Dad to the music store over Thanksgiving break so that I could purchase some Phillip Glass. I think the first recordings I purchased were Songs from Liquid Days.  I did not imbibe this music in the same manner I did the rest of my collection. I fancied myself a very “serious” student of music but Phillip Glass was the kind of music I daydreamed and studied to, I don’t think I ever actually “listened” to it the same way I did most other music.

I recall studying Einstein on the Beach during my undergrad years but my love affair with Glass seemed to fizzle over time. I don’t think it was a conscious decision, maybe I just outgrew him. Or maybe I finally realized that I didn’t “get” it. He truly was appealing to me as a teenager. And then he wasn’t anymore.

Ironically, when LA Opera started their PR blitz for Einstein on the Beach a few months ago I got very excited. I instantly forgot that Phil and I had fizzled and started listening again. Twenty plus years ago I didn’t have access to the internet or, HOLY COW, Youtube! I found myself reading and then clicking through pages on treasure hunt for more information, sites, and sounds. I am in a bit of a tizzy as I reintroduce myself to Phillip Glass; it turns out he went on and continued to write music without me. I have much catching up to do! On that note, I cannot imagine being a kid and having had access to the world via the internet. I may never have slept.

I’ll admit that I’m nervous about the prospect of sitting still for four and half hours without intermission. (So much for minimalism.) The audience is invited to come and go freely but I can’t imagine that I will be able to pull myself away from the spectacle. 

If you aren’t familiar with the work of Phillip Glass and are curious about all the fuss behind LA Opera’s presentation of Einstein on the Beach, I highly recommend watching the 1986 documentary Einstein on the Beach: The Changing Image of Opera. It features both Phillip Glass and Robert Wilson explaining the work in great detail.

I am downright giddy at the prospect of seeing the complete work live. This tour is expected to be the last revival Phillip Glass and Robert Wilson are directly involved in. The whole city seems to be humming with excitement and LA Opera has done a phenomenal job with the PR so it is likely to be an incredible audience. We are witnessing and experiencing history this week!

You can follow me @banteringblonde on Thursday as I live tweet throughout the final dress rehearsal starting a bit before 6pm Pacific Time. Follow @laopera @einsteinbeach and #EOTB2013

I still remember the day that we found out our third child would be a girl. My husband was always good at being able to tell whether there were boy parts or girl parts but I was never confident in what I was seeing. I was pretty sure that I would have another boy though because I was just a boy mom.  When they told me I was having a girl it was like time froze. Literally. It was like a scene out of some movie where everything blurs and the voices go deep and drag slow. 

Criticize me if you want but the thought of having a girl terrified me and it still does. She is the apple of her father’s eye, the joy of her brothers’ worlds (most of the time), my spunky, loving girl and she keeps me on my toes!

For the most part we parent the boys and K, who is now 8, the same but there is no way around the fact that boys and girls are different. I’m proud of how we’ve been able to establish a pretty open dialogue in our house about the dangers of drugs, alcohol, bullying and sexuality. All of these things apply to each of them regardless of their gender.

Still, boys and girls are different.

My eldest son went through puberty, started to smell, grew body hair, and got a bad case of acne. Solution: deodorant, “the talk”,  and a great dermatologist. Easy Peasy.

An example of how crazy I am when it comes to girl stuff:

The other day we were walking away from the school when K turned to me and asked if she can shave her legs.

I just about fell over.  OMG, when do girls start shaving their legs?

Have I mentioned that she’s 8? EIGHT.

I’m a total loser at this point because she’s seen the look on my face and she knows this is going to be good. Why can I talk to my boys about pretty much anything but the pressure to say exactly the right thing to my girl turns me into an idiot?

After gathering my idiot self, I asked her why she wanted to shave her legs.

Because she has hairy legs, she says.

OK. Well, we all have hairy legs and, I’m NOT kidding you, I started talking about primates and evolution and how the hair kept us warm when we were monkeys. MONKEYS!

Do you not see now how traumatizing it will be for this beautiful girl child to have me as her mother?

When she told me that someone in her class shaves their legs already it was all I could do to keep my eyeballs inside my head. Well, that just made it all the more interesting to her. Somehow I pulled myself together enough to gather her in a hug and sit down with her on the sidewalk for a chat.

I pointed out how very light blonde and fine the hair on her legs was and then showed her the shameful stubble on my legs. I explained that once you start shaving the hair it grows back more corse and it’s a pain in the ass to keep up with and since we live in Southern California and wear shorts and skirts all year round it’s an even bigger pain in the ass.

She listened and stared at my legs with disgust and when I was done she just looked at me. I thought she was deep in thought about whether she still wanted to shave her legs, but do you know what that child said to me?

Can we go now? I’m hungry.

 

This blog post started as a comment preceding this link I was sharing on Facebook. It’s a link to a summary of a broadcast segment on Minnesota Public Radio titled:  Carlson says orchestra deserves help as much as Vikings.

The interview featured former governor Arne Carlson who criticized leadership for responding quickly to a Viking stadium request and shelling out $475 million but having essentially ignored the Minnesota Orchestra dispute. He says the orchestra’s financial problems could be solved for a fraction of the public money, $6 million to be precise, that has been committed to the new Vikings stadium in downtown Minneapolis.

My question is: what then?

If the Minnesota Vikings were to contribute money toward settling the Minnesota Orchestra lockout, as Carlson somewhat “tongue-in-cheek suggests, what happens the next time the orchestra runs out of money?

For that matter, if public funds of any sort were given in order to end the lockout would that solve the orchestra’s problems long term?

I’m a strong advocate for the arts but I am also an advocate for common sense and long term sustainable and practical business practices.

Without commenting specifically on the Minnesota situation, I do think we need to look at the way we in the arts world are doing business. Our orchestras operate under a model that relies heavily on public funding and over my lifetime (I am 41) there has been a steady decline in support for public funding of the arts. Clearly, there are organizations that have adapted and are thriving but most smaller organizations are not just not thriving, they are struggling and many are failing.

I ended up listening to the full sound broadcast segment. The article does not do justice to the argument that Carlson makes during the segment. If you are at all curious I suggest listening.

Two thoughts occurred to me while I listened to this broadcast:

1. We can’t rely on public funding to fix the problems we are facing in the arts world. We suck at business right now and we need to stop sucking at business.

2. The public is not fully aware of, or doesn’t understand, the facts behind why they should support the arts. There are a lot of intangible “touch feely” reasons why the arts are important but money talks and there are real concrete financial reasons the public should get behind the arts. Very few of us are good at articulating these facts. Carlson is very good at it. We need a plan that involves more people who get it and can articulate it to systematically educate the public.

I don’t know exactly what the solution is but a very good friend commented the other day on Facebook in reference to an article on why classical music is struggling and made a very good point:

 

I’ve always encouraged my kids to voice their opinions, thoughts, and feelings. It’s important for kids to learn how to express themselves in appropriate ways. Nobody wants to play with the bratty kid that cries when they don’t get their way or worse, physically kicks or hits when they get frustrated.

We start teaching them how to communicate even before they can speak words. I wasn’t one of those moms that was ever able to use much sign language with my kids. I think we mastered “more” but unless throwing a handful of food in your mother’s face is a recognized sign then I think it’s safe to say we did not get very far with Baby Signs. We did ok with pointing and grunting though.

When kids get to the point where they are able to start forming words we all jump on the “use your words” bandwagon. When they start to gain more fine motor skills and coordination we teach them to color and draw how they are feeling. For some kids the drawing comes easier than the “using words” and visa versa. Regardless, we all hope and pray that by the time we send them off to pre-school they’ll be able to get through the day without giving anyone a black eye, trashing the bookshelves, or throwing themselves on the floor in a massive tantrum.

I think John and I have done pretty well with our three kids. Each of them have embraced their own unique communication style. Our 13 year old son is pretty quiet and doesn’t really talk much about his feelings but if something is really bothering him he’ll usually come find one of us during a quiet moment and will talk about what is going on with him. My Henry, our 10 year old son, is extremely expressive and has accumulated an impressive vocabulary to share exactly what he thinks in great detail about pretty much everything. Our 8 year old daughter,Kat, is definitely the most open (and loud) with her feelings and I’m certain most of our neighborhood knows exactly how she’s been feeling throughout most of the day lately. We have been working with her on finding more appropriate and more constructive ways to express herself.

I found this piece of paper under the table the other day. I think we are making progress. What do you think?