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You Are Gonna Love My Nuts!

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YouTube is such a time suck.  I’m completely useless for at least an hour if someone tells me to go look at something on that site.

Today I came across my old buddy Vince, the Sham WOW guy.  (You can read about my obsession with the Sham WOW here.)  He was peddling a new product, the Slap Chop.  
I am speechless.  This dude should be up for an Academy Award for being able to deliver these lines with a straight face.  He actually says, “You are gonna love my nuts.”.  For real, he does.  Watch this and be sure to keep a Sham WOW handy for when you pee your pants in disbelieving laughter!

You Are Gonna Love My Nuts!

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YouTube is such a time suck.  I’m completely useless for at least an hour if someone tells me to go look at something on that site.

Today I came across my old buddy Vince, the Sham WOW guy.  (You can read about my obsession with the Sham WOW here.)  He was peddling a new product, the Slap Chop.  
I am speechless.  This dude should be up for an Academy Award for being able to deliver these lines with a straight face.  He actually says, “You are gonna love my nuts.”.  For real, he does.  Watch this and be sure to keep a Sham WOW handy for when you pee your pants in disbelieving laughter!

Sham WOW Wednesday – The Sham Wow Song

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My Mom thinks my obsession with the Sham WOW is unhealthy.  I don’t know… The men in white coats aren’t banging on the door yet, but they may be soon because the screaming banshee that has possessed my youngest child is driving me to something a lot more unhealthy than a Sham WOW obsession.  You may soon see me sunning myself by the pool next to Britney and Lindsey at the Circus or whatever that rehab retreat is called.   

I digress…
I appreciate love you all sent Jack last week, he was very flattered.  Not that I was jealous of all the attention or anything, but he wasn’t able to make it today.  Something about filling potholes with Cheetos…  today’s Sham WOW segment comes directly from something I stole off his Facebook page so it’s just as good.
Watch this video and be sure to cover your computer screen with something waterproof to protect it when you spit all over in laughter.  
Bust a gut my friends, the Sham WOW song…..

Sham WOW Wednesday With Guest Banterer Jack Randall

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I know you’ve all been anxiously awaiting the Sham WOW Wednesday guest blog spot with Mr. Jack Randall.  You’ll remember from last weeks post that I predicted that he would, in fact, actually grace us with his presence.  (insert ooooooohs)  Without further adieu, I present you with, the man who lit a fire under, I mean inspired and entertained many chemistry students more than a few year ago, the man who puts the ban in banter, (doot do doo) Mr. Jack Randall….


OK, first things first. The name Sham WOW is no doubt a registered product name with all the rights and privileges so granted. There can be no doubt that the product itself performs the task of absorbing liquids very, very well. If a person purchases one or more Sham WOWs, that person will most likely be pleased with the product.


Next, of course, is dealing with the fellow who is probably the universally recognized face of Sham Wow – the Sham Wow Guy.  He’s an interesting guy (he probably even has a name) (Not to crash your guest spot Jack, but his name is Vince Something) and either his sales pitch is particularly effective or the product sells itself. Or both.

The Sham Wow phenomenon has intrigued me from a scientific perspective, which would not be surprising if you knew that my job deals with science.  After conducting borderline exhaustive research and participating in a not-insignificant amount of speculation, I’ve stumbled upon the following information regarding the Sham Wow.  

Your lovely host of this blog invited me, at risk of smudging her reputation, to share my Sham Wow info. Here goes.

The exact molecular structure of a Sham Wow may or may not be a closely guarded secret, but it appears almost certain that the fabric is not natural and is not peeled from any species of llama-like creature frolicking across some South American pampas.

The spectacular success of the Original Sham Wow seems to have caused the sprouting of a trio of perhaps soon-to-be-released products: the Sham WOW Mini, the Sham Wow Nano, and the Sham Wow Shuffle. The Sham Wow Nano would fill a heretofore vacant niche for a specialty wiper-upper of spills on the atomic level. The major drawback for the consumer (but a decided advantage for the manufacturer) is that, at a 5-nanometer-square size, the Sham Wow Nano will be easy to lose.

A story, being circulated among some people, that a Sham WOW discarded on the shoreline absorbed a certain popular inland lake cannot be substantiated. But, if it turns out to be true, that particular Sham WOW was really overachieving.

Accounts are evidently circulating regarding a housewife in an undisclosed location in Eastern Europe who placed a Sham Wow on the second floor of her modest home and successfully cleaned up her child’s milk spill one floor below.

According to unnamed sources, an amateur astronomer claims to possess convincing evidence explaining the water-free surface of the moon having been caused by the strategic placement of several dozen Sham Wows by Commies who sneaked to the moon at the turn off the 20th century in spacecraft on loan from an alien culture.

Rumors are spreading of the impending birth of a hybrid product: the Sham WOW Snuggie. Combining the cozy comfort of another popular cable-TV product, The Snuggie, with the unmatched absorbent power of the Sham WOW, prototypes under development have been given the nickname: Full-Body Depends.

While none of these items can be confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt, it seems clear that the Sham WOW Phenomenon is poised to revolutionize a constant theme in the lives of all humans – the need to sop up spilled liquids. If more information becomes available, I’m sure the readers of this blog will be among the first to know.

best regards,
Jack


It should be noted that the above post is the brain child of the author and does not reflect the opinions of the host Bantering Blonde.  While she recognizes the genius of Mr. Randall, admires him and appreciates his past mentoring, should you wish to sue anyone please note that you shouldn’t sue me, I’m broke and there ain’t much to be got… amen.

My Children Are Dyslexic Sham WOWs

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Everyone knows what a Sham WOW is!

We’ve all seen the talented Sham WOW dude and his magic sham that holds 12x its weight in liquid.  Great for the house, the car, the boat, the RV…..  

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, now would be a good time to watch the entertaining infomercial…..


Anyway, my really cool high school chem teacher is so brilliant and creative.  Not only is he the soon to be published author of fine children’s books that put kids to sleep on the first page, he is obsessed with Sham WOWs.

In honor of my all time favorite teacher, I hereby launch Sham WOW Wednesdays with Bantering Blonde, an exciting new series that explores the wonder of the Sham WOW.  
 
It is only fitting that this first installment showcases the talented Jack Randall.  He has given me permission to reprint this original joke.  (I’m hoping he’ll offer to be the Sham WOW guest blogger next week too so give us some comment luv people and invite him back!)

3 Sham Wows in a bar.

Someone spills a drink and the 1st Sham WOW jumps on it and it’s gone.

The barkeep says, “Thanks”.

Later, another drink is spilled and the 2nd Sham WOW jumps on it – cleaned up in a flash.

Barkeep says “That’s amazing!” (I think he would have said, “WOW”… but I didn’t write the joke so I’ll just mind my own business.)

Later still, yet another drink is spilled.

The 3rd Sham WOW jumps on it, but when it gets up there’s an even larger pool of liquid.

Barkeep says, “Hey, the spill is worse! What’s going on?”

“Oh, sorry, that’s just Bob,” the 1st Sham Wow says, “he’s dyslexic.”



There ya have it folks, the very first Sham WOW Wednesday with Bantering Blonde!  If you have ideas for, or would like to guest blog on this series please email me.